


Wish I Could Tell You There's a Kiss (Like Something More Than in My Mind)

by karadanverz



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, One Shot, but there's kind of a happy ending, kind of, this isn't really angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-12 22:37:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16004735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karadanverz/pseuds/karadanverz
Summary: Amaya pondered the question for a moment “I don't know. I guess I'd want my future husband to be caring and intelligent.”Zari looked down at her oatmeal as she felt her heart drop to her feet. She could feel tears burning the backs of her eyes but all she could do was nod.'My future husband'





	Wish I Could Tell You There's a Kiss (Like Something More Than in My Mind)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So I'm writing this tonight because emotions suck and also I miss Legends.
> 
> This is semi-based on a series of real conversations I've had with my crush while we were on a bus ride together for three hours. 
> 
> But anyways, you guys can find me on twitter @ellalancelot, and guess what? I'm actually active on tumblr now, so feel free to drop me and ask (or two, or three) @sanvers-deserved-better.
> 
> This notes section is getting really long (whoops) but comments and kudos are great. I love to hear what you guys have to say :)
> 
> Enjoy!

It was nearly 5am in the Waverider galley, about two weeks after Zari had been on the team. She was still member-ish, but there was no doubt she was already becoming a part of the family.

 

After some extensive totem researching, one too many hours of sleep lost, and the past four hours spent talking about anything and everything they could even think to talk about, Amaya and Zari were sitting together in the dim light of the galley, getting an early start on breakfast before decidedly getting some much-needed sleep.

 

“What's your dream house?” asked Zari, poking at her bowl of oatmeal.

 

“I've always dreamed of something modern and minimalistic. An all-white interior that looks like something straight out of a Pinterest board.” Amaya said, carefully and delicately unwrapping her bran muffin.

 

“I love that.” Zari said. “Maybe we could live together there. Start some vegan bakery and grow old together.” she laughed, hoping to convey that she meant it as a joke, and nothing more.

 

“That sounds awesome.” said Amaya, laughing along.

 

Zari ignored the way that laugh made her feel “So what qualities do you look for in a partner?”

 

She was in risky territory now, but was too tired to care. They had touched on topics far more personal in the past few hours, this was a basic ‘getting to know you’ question.

 

Amaya pondered the question for a moment “I don't know. I guess I'd want my future husband to be caring and intelligent.”

 

Zari looked down at her oatmeal as she felt her heart drop to her feet. She could feel tears burning the backs of her eyes but all she could do was nod.

 

_ “my future husband" _

 

_ “future husband" _

 

_ “husband" _

 

The words swirled through her mind and she couldn't hear anything other than Amaya's voice replaying in her ears like a broken record.

 

Of course. Of  _ course _ she was straight. Zari knew this. She knew Amaya had her thing with Nate, she'd even joked about it in front of them, but somehow in the back of her mind, there was hope that she had a chance. That hope only amplified with time, and how could it not have? Amaya was so sweet, and kind. and caring, hell she'd even said they were  _ connected. _

 

Zari was spiraling when she felt a light tap on her forearm.

 

“Z, you good?” asked Amaya, concern in her eyes.

 

She couldn't tell her. What would she say? If she let out anything remotely close to the truth she’d look like an idiot. Just another sad, hopeless girl who had fallen for her straight best friend.

 

Zari wiped the one, lonesome, tear that had escaped out of the corner of her eye and looked up “Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just tired, is all.”

 

Amaya slowly nodded “Okay. Well, of you're up for a few more questions, I think it's my turn. I want to keep learning about you.” 

 

She had said it with such a teasing, cute, smile that Zari almost burst into flames. 

 

There it was again. The blatant flirting that apparently hadn't even been “flirting" to begin with. Just another piece of this confusing emotional mess of a puzzle. 

 

“Go for it.” said Zari, eating a spoonful of her oatmeal.

 

“This is a deep one, think you can handle it?”

 

Zari nodded.

 

“Have you ever been in love?”

 

_ Fuck. _

 

Zari could barely hide the deer-in-headlights expression she had plastered across her face. Of all the questions Amaya could have asked,  _ this _ was the one?

 

She couldn't tell the truth. She would have to be fucking insane to tell the  _ truth _ .

 

But could she lie? Yes. Maybe. 

 

_ Damn it, I'm whipped. _ Zari thought to herself.

 

“Yeah, twice.” she finally answered.

 

Amaya smiled, somewhat surprised “Oh. With who?”

 

Zari didn't answer and Amaya continued “You don't have to tell me if it's too personal-”

 

“No it's… it's fine, you're fine. Uh, the first person was someone I knew growing up and the second person… wasn't into me.”

 

“Well how do you know?” asked Amaya “What was your relationship like?”

 

_ She really isn't making this easy. _ Zari thought.

 

“Our relationship was a friendship.”

 

“Ouch.” said Amaya “Those ones can be tough.”

 

Zari nodded “You have no idea.”

 

“Well maybe they felt the same way?”

 

“No,” Zari shook her head “they were into someone else.”

 

“Well, you never know,” said Amaya “what if you told them?”

 

“No way. It would have fucked up everything,  and I guess it's better to have a friend than no one at all, but I'm Pretty sure I lost them already.”

 

“Hey,” said Amaya, putting a hand on Zari's shoulder “you have me. You'll always be my friend. My  _ best _ friend.”

 

That shouldn't have hurt as much as it did, but the sharp pain that came with came with being, for lack of better term, “friendzoned", never really went away.

 

“Thanks.” said Zari, dryly. 

 

Gideon's voice chimed through the speakers of the Waverider “Pardon the interruption, but Captain Lance is on her way to the galley. “

 

“We should head out.” said Amaya “If Sara knows we've been up all night she'll be pissed.”

 

“Yeah.” said Zari standing up “I should probably get to bed.”

 

“Wait, you don't have to. We could talk for a little while longer in my quarters, if you want.”

 

“Sure.” said Zari. Her heart was racing and she wished it would just  _ stop _ because this was never going to happen and her body needed to stop getting its hopes up.

 

Amaya disposed of her dishes and led Zari down a series of dim hallways.

 

As they were making the walk down, Zari forced herself to think about anything other than the fact that Amaya had grabbed her hand, and it occurred to her that she had never actually gotten a good look at Amaya's bunk on the ship.

 

She had poked her head in a few times, and even been inside once, but she had never stayed for more than a few minutes and she couldn't even place what it looked like.

 

The doors whooshed open and the two women walked inside. 

 

Amaya took a seat on her bed and Zari did the same, taking a mental note to get a good look around. Her gaze wandered to a wall in the back, or more precisely, what was hanging on the wall in the back.

 

It was barely visible from a lot of angles, but from where Zari was sitting, she could tell exactly what it was:

 

A bisexual pride flag.

 

A surge of hope and happiness surged through her body and she couldn't help the wide grin that was quickly growing on her face.

 

She had a chance.

 

It was far from being a  _ good _ chance, but there was hope and for once, the voices in her head saying this could work out outweighed the ones saying it was never going to happen.

 

_ Amaya's bi. She's into women. _

 

It was almost too much to process, but it was enough. Maybe not today, but someday, this could work out.

 

“So,” said Amaya, continuing on with the questions “what's an important lesson you've learned since being with the legends?”

 

Zari looked up at Amaya and held eye contact for a second before answering.

 

“Never lose hope.”

**Author's Note:**

> I might continue this? Or maybe turn it into a series or something? Idk. Let me know if you feel strongly about me adding onto this fic <3


End file.
